Parenting 101: Dealing with Pushed Boundaries

November 11, 2009

The trouble with parenthood is that by the time you're experienced you're unemployable. -- Anonymous

I fee like parenting is like a long staircase leading to forever. There's challenge at every step, and in every landing you discover something new about yourself and your children.

Let's take for example this pushing boundaries issue. Two nights ago, Wizheart and I experienced for the first time how Gabo challenged the boundaries.

Earlier that day, Gabo told Ate Tata that he wanted a root beer. He saw his friend sipping it, so naturally, he wanted one for himself, too. Ate Tata was not sure if he would allow Gabo to drink it because there was the word "beer" in the name of the drink. LOL. So she told Gabo to ask our permission first if he could drink it.

Gabo reacted not quite well to this. According to Ate Tata, Gabo hit his hand on the fence and got angry.

So when it was deliberation time, Wizheart was explaining to Gabo that no matter how angry he got, he shouldn't hit anything, or worse, hit anyone. Wizheart then went on talking about self control, and that not everything their friends would do, they would also do. And all that stuff.

All throughout the father-son talk, Gabo tried to reason out, until he got really fired up arguing his (juvenile) stand. His voice was rising like a crescendo, and the father and son had battled it out.

He was able to argue well, though with juvenile reasons, and he was only nine years old!

Admittedly, I couldn't react while this was going on. I was just listening and observing Gabo.

You know how we encourage our children to reason out, yet when you're faced with such, I somehow feel challenged as a parent. It's a different feeling. I didn't know if I had to be angry at Gabo for being so open and adamant about his feelings, and trying to justify his actions, or I should just let him vent it out.

For once, I didn't know what to do. Good thing Wizheart was so cool about explaining in a persistently calm manner. Gabo then went quiet. Everyone was quiet, even Rago who would always be ready with his punchlines. LOL

Then last night, Wizheart told me that Gabo apologized to him. That night after the "altercation" happened, Rago and I went upstairs ahead. Wizheart was telling Gabo to go ahead, but Gabo stayed and pretended to ready his school stuff. When it was time for them to go upstairs, Gabo waited for Wizheart at the foot of the stairs, sidled up to him and said, "Sorry, Papa."

Wizheart told me that he felt moved.

Well, we are still at the first step, or shall we say, at the first landing of the staircase. We have a lot of steps to go.

However, I read up on pushing boundaries and this is what I found: Do your children push boundaries? New study says they're likely tomorrow's leaders

Hmm... perhaps if we guide our children well, they can be the best that they can be.