Six Gifts You Can Give Your Child

Yesterday, I went to a recollection in Gabo's school. It was part of the preparation for Gabo's First Communion. The very engaging speaker Bro. Arun Gogna shared these with anecdotes that are perfect for parents.

1. Paint pictures. What pictures are you painting in the minds of your children? You can paint pictures in your children's minds by teaching them with a story or with an illustration.

2. Provide handles. Believe in your children so they can believe in themselves, too. Do not underestimate your children.

3. Supply roadmaps. Take charge! Make rules reasonable and clear. And if you need to punish, make sure to punish with love.

4. Furnish laboratories. Don't buy your children every toy. Teach them manners.

5. Give roots. To be in your children's memories tomorrow, be in their lives today.

6. Offer wings. Allow them to think big things, and expect big things from them. Treat each child as an individual.

Well, if you're a good reader, I'm sure you've read about these concepts. The concepts were not new to me. But it's always good to be reminded about these things from time to time. Sometimes, when we're so caught up with work, with parenting, with mothering, with being a wife, daughter, sister, friend, we end up with a picture with the pieces all jumbled up.

In any case, if you want me to elaborate on an item, just leave a message. :)

Remembering Oona

Wizheart and I went to a one-on-one conference with Sr. Leni last Saturday. Sr. Leni is Gabo's Religion teacher, and the conference was part of the preparation for his first communion.

Sr. Leni's initial questions asked about our family, and how many kids we had. I answered, "two." And she went, "So Gabo is the younger one." "No, he's the older one," I replied.

I wondered for a while what the question was about. It turned out that I put there in Gabo's birth certificate that he was the second child.

Ah yes. Because he is. I lost my first pregnancy that's why.

This is perhaps the first time I write about it in the blogosphere. I wrote it my red diary though. I guess it's time to write about "it" here.

About two months into my marriage, I didn't know we would be pregnant that soon. But since I never missed a period, we went to see a doctor. Good thing we have a very good friend, Carmelita Pasay-Recto, who happens to be an OB-GYNE. True enough, we were pregnant!

I was already 2.5 weeks pregnant then. Nobody told me I was in a delicate stage, so I went about my regular ways, which didn't involve any strenuous activities anyway. But a week after I knew I was pregnant, I experienced spotting.

Alarmed, I called my OB-GYNE. But she had left for the U.S. for a speaking engagement. No choice, we went to Makati Medical Tower and randomly chose an OB-GYNE. We went in and was happy because we found a motherly looking doctor. Very tender, too. She took a look at me, performed an ultrasound. After a long while, very gently and softly, she told us that the fetus had no more heartbeat or some heart activity. She recommended a D&C as soon as possible.

We were composed the whole time, but once we were outside the office, we slumped on the nearest bench, embraced each other, and wept. Just like that, we lost what could have been our firstborn. We named it Oona.

It's weird because even if I haven't known her yet, I felt the loss. Oona was part of me after all. Even for a short period of time, we shared food, we shared fluids, we breathed and existed at the same time.

Until now, I would still wonder if Oona were a boy or a girl. But in my heart, I felt she was a girl. Yes, we have an angel up there looking after us here below. :)

On Winning and Losing

Life always gives you some balance. These past weeks, the news was filled with winnings and losing.

Perhaps, the biggest positive news was Pacman's victory over De La Hoya. I didn't watch the bout because I'm not a fan of boxing. But nobody is spared from the jubilation, the victory, the big success that Manny Pacquiao is now. It is a real fish-out-of-water story. Considering where Pacman came from and where he is now--among the superstar sportsmen, it boggles my mind. A winning story indeed.

It makes me wonder how his mother must feel about the whole thing or has Nanay Dyonisia even fathomed the depth of his son's success.

Now like all successful men when asked how they get to where they are now, Pacquiao would say that all one needs is hardwork and prayers. I agree! I also agree with Malcolm Gladwell that aside from hardwork and talent, (right) opportunities also is an ingredient of success.

As we rejoice the winning of Pacman, we also are reminded that nothing is permanent, that things are flitting and that lives are mortal. There was also news of loss, of death.

The most tragic for me is the death of a father and daughter who were caught in a shootout in Paranaque. This loss is too much for me to comprehend and I can only pray for strength and mercy for the mother and family who are left behind.

How can men play with the lives of others? I don't even want to think about it. All I wish is for those people who have to deal with lives be given ample training and constantly do their jobs well. No human being can play God. No one. Never.

Yet life is like a wheel. Today, you win, tomorrow you lose, then the wheel turns. Through it all, we continue to live, we hold on to the faith.

Talking about Mom's Best Recipe

"I miss my Mom's adobo!" Or any other dish, pastry that our moms cook well. I would often hear this line. And when I do, I'd remember my mom's dinuguan, ampalaya with pork and egg, beef stew, chicken/pork liver adobo, empanada, chocolate cake, banana cake, grilled cheese sandwich and kalamansi juice, etc. etc.

This topic came up again earlier. My mommy-friends and I were talking about what food to bring for our Christmas get together. Each would have some food to share, and all of them said, I'd bring this because it's my specialty.

I then blurted out, "Fruit salad!"

That is always what I volunteer because it's easy to do.

But the truth is, I have no dish that I can call my specialty. My housemates used to tell me they loved my beef steak or my baked potato, but that was a long time ago. That is because I don't cook anymore. Sad, but true. And I can no longer count the many new years that cooking or learning how to bake/cook would be on my list of new year's resolutions.

It's not too late, I know. And I really want to start it soon(est). I plan to at least cook a meal once a week, that is during weekends, perhaps.

After all, I want my kids, or my husband to also say, "I miss my mom's cooking, especially, __________!" / "I love my wife's __________." :)

The Wisdom of a Child

He amazes me all the time. He seems to know when it is good to have his way and when it's not. I think he is a bit mature for his age.

Gabo had an eye check up today at Asian Eye this afternoon. His appointment was at 1:30. He didn't want to skip class, but this was the only available time for the pediatric ophthalmologist.

I wanted to go with them, but this is one of those days when I couldn't just leave the office. I told Gabo, and he went, "It's OK, Mama, dyan naman si Papa, eh."

I just hugged him.

This got me thinking. When you explain things well to children, that's when they develop a sense of judgment.

I notice that in my children. Often, they do not insist when I say we can't afford it, or we don't have time to do that today. They may try to negotiate, especially Rago, but when they see that a no is a no, they would accept it as such. That is because the no or the yes is always followed by an explanation. Why is it a no? Or why is it a yes?

As a parent, this is the lesson that I learned today. :)

Learning the Elbow Coughing

My kids had cough a couple of weeks ago. That was also the first time I shared with them the elbow coughing.

Elbow coughing is done by coughing through your elbow, or that is bending your arm toward you, and cough through your elbow. This way, we don't spread the virus that much, unlike when we use our hands.

We cough on our hands and then shake hands with another person, or hold some handlebars which people would also hold. That's how bacteria or virus gets around.

Elbow coughing is not very common here in the Philippines. I'm saying that because I don't see Filipinos elbow coughing. Often we use or cover our mouth with a hankie or worse with just our bare hands.

I first saw elbow coughing done by a friend who came home from the US for a vacation. Perhaps not used to our weather or environment, when she landed Philippine soil, she got the terrible dry cough. She actually had it for the duration of her stay here, which was like a month or so!

I wanted to write about elbow coughing then, but as usual, I wasn't able to. Yesterday, I was reminded about it when Rago came up to me and told me that his friend knows how to elbow cough now. "I taught him how, Mommy!" he went.

I highly recommend elbow coughing! :)

Artist's Talk by Julie Lluch

Artist’s Talk by Julie Lluch on 12 December 2008, 3:00 p.m. at the Tanghalang Manuel Conde (Dream Theater, CCP Little Theater Lobby), and monograph launch at 4:00 p.m. at the CCP Main Gallery, 3rd level.

Organized by the Cultural Center of the Philippines (CCP) and Galleria Duemila, Yuta: Earthworks by Julie Lluch, A Retrospective exhibition is on going until 31 December 2008. This exhibition is supported by the National Commission for Culture and the Arts, Asian Tigers Lane Moving and Storage, Autozentrum BMW, Epson, Sanyo, St. Paul’s de Chartres, Carlos P. Romulo Foundation, Arsenio A. Lacson Foundation for Public Service, Inc., Bench, BPI Asset Management, Metrobank Foundation, and Bailey’s.

For particulars, please call the CCP Visual Arts and Museo Division at 8323702.

HERE is a copy of the invitation.